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What People Don’t Tell You About Skydiving

  1. You can’t physically throw up when you’re that scared so you can’t use your hangover as an excuse to get out of it. You might throw up afterwards though.
  2. You will be strapped into the lap of a beautiful, usually foreign, stranger that chases summer so they can do this all year long. And this puts you at a vulnerable position because even if you change your mind they will full on carry you to the edge of the plane. You have no choice in this matter.
  3. After the plane takes off your mind goes into autopilot and you just will become submissive and you just come to terms with your impending death. Don’t be so dramatic , you’ll be fine – what’s the worst that could happen?
  4. The staff will try and psyche you out for fun. The people at Skydive Taupo will remind you on multiple occasions that a plane crashed last year – but everyone survived so why are you so scared?!
  5. When the gas masks fall… so does your stomach and all possible positivity you’ve had that you might actually survive this.
  6. Don’t worry, your instructor will tell you everything you need to know. But the plane is super loud so you won’t hear a word they say.
  7. You think of really weird things when you’re plummeting to the Earth and unimaginable speeds. Like for example, “Shit I should’ve tied my shoes tighter they’re definitely going to fly off and hit an unsuspecting person in the face.”
  8. The skin on your neck and face will gloriously flap in the wind. You majestic creature, you.
  9. They’ll TRUST you to guide the parachute. Ahhhh whaaaaaaat. The chute deployed so we narrowly escaped death and now you’re trusting me to take the reigns? You must be crazy (but we already thought that since you jump out of planes for a living).
  10. You’ll share a really intimate experience with a complete stranger and then leave thinking, “Wow, Renee had really soft hands.”
  11. Before you go you thought “I’ll only do this once in my lifetime just to say I’ve done it.” – Nah, after the first jump you’ll want to do it all over ago but this time LET’S GO HIGHER. 😀